What I learned this year – Joakim Borgstrom

By Egotist / /

Elevators are not made for creative agencies.
I work in an agency with elevators. It’s something new to me and I’m still learning how to use and behave in them. Many things happen there that affect us every day. I can’t really say that I like them, but here are some observations I’ve made.

Elevators are like a game of chairs.
It’s crucial to get a good position when you get in, so you can plan your way out. You don’t really want to accidentally touch anybody. Hell no! Go for one of the four corners. Best position, best coverage, best escape.

Elevators are like a TV ads.
They can be intrusive. You only have like 30 seconds to engage and/or pay any interest to the people that are there with you. The problem is that you can’t fast forward or change channel.

Elevators don’t make ideas better.
Stairs do. It scientifically proven that good exercise makes our body work and feel better. The more our hearts pump the better blood arrives to your brain. Fresh blood produces better ideas. I have to take the stairs more.

Elevators make people ask things they don’t really want to hear.
How are you? What’s up? What are you doing? I quickly realized that people don’t really care about how I feel or what I do. Is it an American thing? Or is it an elevator thing?

Elevators make you wait.
How many times a day do we just stay in-front of a grey door and wait. Life is too short for waiting. There should be elevators on demand. Instant elevators.

Elevators need timesheets
I’ve calculated that I spend 3,467 min inside or outside an elevator each year. That is like 50 hours. Almost a half work week. What is the time-code for elevator time?

Elevators can get you 50 million views.
We have all seen the Brazilian Elevator Ghost Prank.

Elevators need an update.
To make elevators more productive in a creative environment I think we should install:

USB connectors. We all need more juice.
Wifi. So we can keep downloading HD movies.
Spotiy. For those awkward moments of silence.
FaceTime. So we can continue our conversations.
A skip button. Skip a floor, skip a meeting, skip a client or two.
A fire button. That fires people.

Agencies don’t need elevators.

@JoakimBorgstrom

  1. Barry December 21, 2012

    Great observations. Other than potentially an airport bathroom, is there a more socially awkward public space than an elevator?